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The day we found out…

OK, this is my long-awaited story of becoming pregnant. I’m going to give a little background info of the happenings a week before we got the great news. For even more background info, you can read our full IVF story in chronological blog posts here, and read more about our struggle with infertility (backwards chronological) here.

It was at this time last year that we reached our $12,000 goal, and with MUCH anticipation began all the hormonal injections in preparation for IVF. For over a month, we planned our lives around our injection calendar, having to be injected 2-3 times daily at exact times, and driving across the state several times a week for ultrasounds and tests. We did everything by the book. If this didn’t work, it wasn’t going to be because we cut corners. Not a single person on earth knew that we had reached our financial goal and were starting IVF. Although we would never have that special surprising moment announcing a pregnancy, I still desperately wanted an element of surprise. I wanted it to be a moment. Another reason we didn’t tell anyone was because of the extreme emotional and anxious state of our hearts. We knew family and friends would be supportive and loving, but if the IVF didn’t work… I would need to morn by myself. Possibly for a really long time. A grief that I knew might make my heart stop beating. All our eggs were in one basket (and that was NOT meant to be a pun). There was no other way.

My egg retrieval was on a Friday. I was under general anesthesia, and they inserted a catheter with a needle that penetrated into my ovaries and sucked the contents out of each egg sack, from each of my ovaries. Fourteen eggs were retrieved in all. And after mingling with my beloved’s ‘seeds’, we had eight embryos growing strong after the weekend.. Monday morning we were scheduled for the Embryo Transfer. They handed us a picture of the two strong embryos they had chosen (the same picture we have at the top of our blog). For me, looking at my embryos was a comparable emotion to hearing your baby cry for the first time after 48 hours of intense labor. I said “hi babies, I’m your momma” to the picture. It’s true. And Nick said, “the one on the left has your eyes”.

The embryo transfer went smoothly. I thanked the doc for knocking me up, and he said ‘the pleasure was all his.’ We went home… and waited. The idea that I could potentially be pregnant is a feeling I can’t explain. So much pain and anticipation for a moment like this. I loved those little embryos, with a mother’s love. I wanted to know them, deeply and profoundly.

We were instructed to simply wait, for ten days, until our scheduled blood test to determine pregnancy. They highly recommended we NOT take a pregnancy test before then, because my levels would be so low that, although I may in fact be pregnant, it probably wouldn’t detect it. And they didn’t want me to be disheartened. I was grateful that they were thinking about the condition of my heart. But there was NO WAY I was waiting ten days. I’ve taken hundreds of pregnancy tests in the last two years, and I needed that moment of peeing on a stick… and seeing it for myself.

So our Embryo Transfer was on Monday, Thanksgiving was on Thursday, and we were heading to my parents on Saturday to celebrate Thanksgiving with my fam. All seven of us siblings were going to be there. And I woke up that morning thinking… wow, today would be the perfect day to announce a pregnancy. Plus, I just didn’t know if I could act cool and not let on that there were two embryos in my uterus that could potentially become two babies!!!!!!!!!!!!

So although it was only five days since our Transfer and we were supposed to wait ten days for the blood test, I got out of bed that Saturday morning, walked in the bathroom and peed on a stick. I knew full well it would probably be negative, for two reasons:  1) my pregnancy tests are always negative 2) they told me not to take a pregnancy test because it would almost definitely be negative until ten days has passed. But I had a pregnancy test lying around. Why not? WHY NOT I ask. I had prepared myself for the negative test, and knew that it wouldn’t necessarily mean I wasn’t pregnant. And I was not going to let it ruin my weekend.

The pregnancy test I used was ClearBlue from a two-pack I had bought a few months back when I wrote this post. It’s the type of test that digitally tells you either “pregnant” or “not pregnant”. So I’m sitting on the toilet looking at that blank gray screen, just staring. Waiting. Staring. Hoping. Waiting. And then a word popped up on the screen. Just one word. Not two. One word…

PREGNANT

What? WHAT? I stared blankly in disbelief for a fraction of a second. Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh. I don’t think I wiped, or pulled my pants up. I ran into the bedroom screaming and jumped on top of Nick, waving the pregnancy test in his face. I was crying and yelling hysterically. Nick probably thought there was an intruder in our house. He was groggy and confused and half awake. But once he figured it out, we rejoiced together. It was a crazy morning. We kept saying to each other… “We’re having a baby!!” I talked to my belly. “hello babies, thanks for grabbing on tight. Are there two of you or just one of you?” In the shower that morning, I had an idea of how we could announce our pregnancy to my family. After taking pictures of the two of us, we went to Walgreens.com and uploaded the photo of us and the photo of our embryos, and created a holiday card using both pictures. And below, it said “Happy Holidays, from ALL of us!”

Walgreens had them printed in one hour, and we picked them up a few blocks from my parents house. I quickly shoved each holiday card in it’s envelope as we were pulling up to their house. We walked in the front door, trying to act cool. I nonchalantly set up my camera on the TV stand and set it to record, and began passing out our “Christmas cards” to each of my family members. The video says it all. You can just watch the first 2 minutes. This is one my most treasured moments of my entire life. I’m so glad that I thought to record it so I can relive it whenever I want… and so I could share it with you.

And that’s the story of conceiving, discovering pregnancy, and announcing to my fam! We can’t believe all that’s happened in the last year. We still are in awe that these girls belong to us… that we finally got our miracle(s).

Comments

  1. The one on the left does have your eyes!

  2. I never saw that video!! Wow.. Nothing like reliving an incredible moment! thanks for sharing :)

  3. Aww that made my eyes leak! Such sweet blessings!

  4. Amazing!!… What miracles! – Amy

  5. wow…i love that video!! i’m sure you cant wait to share this story with your little girls :)

  6. Oh my goodness…I LOVED the video! I’m wiping the tears away as I type this, so sweet :-)

  7. Wow, reading that made big ‘ol tears run down my face. I’m so happy for you and your little family! I was perusing around “crafty blogland” and stumbled across your blog right before you announced you were pregnant and I found myself not engrossed in your craftiness (although I love that too) but your story. Thank you for encouraging me.

  8. Anonymous says:

    I’ve been following your blog for awhile, although I’ve never commented. I was a recently a surrogate and went through IVF, and gave birth around the time you did. When reading your fertility blog, I noticed we actually went to the same fertility clinic! I just had to comment and say your video was so wonderful. I could feel how happy everyone was, and am sitting at my desk at work with eye liner all over my face :-) So happy for you!
    -Meghan, Meghan32287@hotmail.com

  9. That was so sweet! I was definitely over here bawling too! Congrats on your beautiful babies :)

  10. That was so awesome! I had leaky eyes too! You guys sure do come up with some creative ideas. The Christmas cards were the best!

  11. Yeah, I’ve never seen the video either! I love it!! So awesome to relive the whole thing. I cried again just like that day :)

  12. Thanks so much for sharing this…I geared up at your sweet family’s excitement. My mom and I love your blog!! Keep it up Momma! :)

  13. Wow, that made me cry! What a wonderful joyous moment! Thank you so much for sharing!

  14. awe just like everyone else i cried such a happy moment <3

  15. Anonymous says:

    i have been following your blog for awhile (i am a friend of one of your feature fridays). i am the mother of twin girls (28 week babies, lost one at one week, the other is a gorgeous 7 year old now). i just have to say that i was bawling and bawling during this video. soo neat that you thought to capture the moment. WHAT a TREASURE! how awesome, in this day and age, to see 2 babies soooo wanted and sooooo loved!

  16. I think I came across your blog on Pinterest. I loved watching this. We did fertility for our family too, and when it works, it really is a miracle. I have a 7 year old and 4 year old b/g twins, and I feel so thankful everyday. This was so touching.

  17. That video is the best thing ever! Congratulations.. the girls are beautiful. :)

    (PS just found your blog and I’m already hooked!) Love it!

  18. Anonymous says:

    Beautiful!! I am so happy that you got your beautiful baby x 2! God surely wanted to double bless you after all you went through. I miscarried my 2nd pregnancy and very heartbroken… but just a few months later we were pregnant again and at 20 weeks discovered we too were blessed with two at once :) Our babies were also born on July 8 (2009) It’s a beautiful date!! May God bless you and your family abundantly.

  19. Made me cry too. I can only imagine how hard infertility is, and how joyous it was when it happened.

    I got pregnant with my daughter on our honeymoon but it took 4 months with the second which I am only 16 weeks into now. Every month I got a negative I felt like a failure, it was heart breaking. I can only imagine how hard it is to have that month after month.

    Congratulations on your darling little girls.

  20. Dear Beth and Nick-
    Hello or I should say Congradulations! So, I really never comment on blogs and stuff. I just drop in, look at everyones cute ideas, Pin a few things, and leave. But, your infertility story just brought tears to my eyes! I even watched part of the video of you telling your family about your pregnancy. So happy for you and your husband. Also, your little girls are adorable! Dreams really do come true!
    Sincerely, Lisa

  21. Anonymous says:

    I ran across your ‘flower/stain’ buffet on Pinterest and started reading your blog…..what a beautiful/well written story of your journey. God Bless you all. I’m very happy for you.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Wow….this truly brought tears to my eyes. My prayers are for your happiness and the health and success of the girls.

  23. Anonymous says:

    I just burst into tears watching your video. I struggled with PCOS for 33 months before conceiving our daughter (with the help of a ton of Clomid). She’s now 2 and I’m trying to overcome PCOS again – but this time the Clomid’s not working. We’re 8 months in to this journey for a second time. I hope and pray we get to have a moment like that again. So, so happy for you and your sweet angel girls!

  24. oooohhh, I just cried at your video – too beautiful!

  25. New to your blog, and just like all the people who already commented, I, too, am teary eyed. I overcame infertility, and know how amazing it feels to finally be pregnant. I couldn’t not say congratulations and send a little virtual love to you and yours after seeing that sweet video. Looking forward to catching up on things and continuing to read your blog. Thanks :)

  26. Thank you for sharing such a personal moment in your life. I had difficulty getting pregnant and finally had my miracle. I’m sure you are an inspiration to many! What a sweet/wonderful lady you are! I Love your blog and hope that you have tons of success! BTW, I’m a twin too! :)

  27. Your story has brought me to tears as I’m following links from your newest post. The video here…I felt everyone’s happiness for you and Nick.
    Debbie :)

  28. Anonymous says:

    we went through IVF also, after 7 failed IUI’s. 2 embryos were implanted and I am the proud mother of twin boys born September 23rd 2011! I share your journey, your tears and your elation! and you overwhelming laundry!!

  29. Anonymous says:

    This made me bawl and so happy for you all at the same time! My husband and I have been dealing with infertility for such a long time. It’s by far the hardest thing I’ve experienced as a person and the hardest thing I’ve experienced in my marriage…We’ve dealt with so much heartache that we’ve put it on the backburner, almost seems easier to move on. Reading your blog, I can relate to every single emotion and feeling you’ve experienced…and it brought it all back. Watching your video and reading your blog gave me a little bit of determination and hope again. I wanted to thank you for sharing something so personal!

  30. I’ve been reading back over all your infertility posts. My husband and I are expecting twins in March after a round of ovulation induction treatments at our fertility clinic. Anyway, infertility is something that is hard for me to discuss or describe, and I just really love how you express it and wanted to say so. Also that video should come with a warning, I’m a sopping mess over here! :)

    • Candace, thank you for writing such a sweet comment. It’s definitely not something that’s easy to talk about, but I know it helps to know that you’re not alone… so I hope my story will bring others hope! CONGRATS on your twins!!! That’s so exciting! Twins are SUCH a blast!

  31. Aw… the video made me cry.

  32. Hello from sunny CA :-)
    I stumbled over from Pinterest because I was promised a tutorial on a fantastic “fainting couch,” no one mentioned I would have my heart touched, my make up a mess or that I would need a box o kleenex! I had no clue. But, we are kindred spirits. My husband and I come form large families, no one has ever experienced infertility and no one has ever talked about it. Like you and all other couples in our situation, we went through the monthly devestation weeks, we tried several (sometimes painful) attempts at IUI and injections. We struggled with the reality of not being able to afford IVF.
    It was a very cold Thanksgiving weekend when we had our last IUI, I was sick as a dog with a cold but when the Dr says “now” then now we do it. I was confident it wouldnt work out, I mean I was so sick and surely my body wouldn’t work, but it did…. we went in for a check up and according to the levels we were absolutely preggo but possibly with 3 or more… that was all they could tell us at the time… we tried Christmas shopping but we were in a daze, my husband was solely focused on strollers and car seats. At our next check up they confirmed it was just one baby, which we were still happy with and cherished the moment, then in January they did more testing and oh boy it was twins, confirmed, signed and sealed. we cried, tears of happiness because we were blessed so. I gave birth to my boy/girl twins on 7/27/09 happy, helathy and LOUD.
    They are about to turn 5, I am always so grateful and never for a moment forget what I went through or that others have gone, will go or are going through.
    Enjoy your blessings, they are beautiful. Your husband and you are courageous, hardworking {and creative}

  33. I’m currently 15 weeks pregnant with my first baby and this whole article just made me bawl. So many of our friends had trouble conceiving and my husband and I went into it thinking we would too. It only took us 4 months, but those 4 months felt like 4 years. Every day I thank God for this blessing and my heart goes out to you and every other woman out there that had to wait or is still waiting for their miracle. Bringing life into the world is a blessing and an honor and every woman deserves to experience it…..the “old fashioned way,” through artificial insemination, IVF, or however else. Congrats on your beautiful girls!!

  34. Damiane Taylor says:

    Oh my… for a moment there I felt like I was part of your family… I am crying like a baby here….Having endometriosis myself (stage IV) we had a similar journey… I however didnt know how to afford the $25,000 for one try…..After 9 months and countless treatments and pregnancy tests later …. I got pregnant with a healthy baby girl!

    Best wishes to you all!

Trackbacks

  1. […] as I laid on that cold stainless steel table in quiet desperation. With my own eyes, I watched the conception of my daughters on a computer screen, while holding my husband’s hand. It’s not everyone that gets to see their […]

  2. […] as I laid on that cold stainless steel table in quiet desperation. With my own eyes, I watched the conception of my daughters on a computer screen, while holding my husband’s hand. It’s not everyone that gets to see their […]

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